Meet our Friends

Over the past several months, we have managed to develop some very nice and interesting friendships here in Florence. Our improvement in speaking Italian has really helped in developing our rapport with people. The days of needing to take an English to Italian dictionary along with us on a lunch or a dinner engagement with friends are not quite over, but appear to be drawing to an end soon.

An interesting fact of life for us here in Italy is that Anna and I both have a lot more time to devote to friendships than we did at home. Most weekdays provide for the opportunity to have lunch with friends and the consistent reliability of both Stella and Simone as trustworthy babysitters to the kids, has allowed us to have quite a few more “Date Nights” than we ever did at home.

We’ve had an opportunity to evaluate the difference in the definition of “Friendship” here in Italia versus the US and although the differences are subtle, they amount to being quite substantial in the end, mostly due to the difference in the way that life is lived here versus at home.

In the US, we tend to “Consume Life” rather than “Experience Life” like Italians. An example of this would be the simple act of the “Passagiata”, which translated means “Going for a stroll”. Many Italians take a passagiata on Sunday with their family and friends. This simple act of going for a long walk in the late afternoon, perhaps stopping for a gelato, or in a park for a pic-nic lends to significant quality time together. Its not that we don’t have the ability to do this in America, it’s that very few of us ever do! As Anna puts it, “It’s a cultural thing and they have a place to walk to and we don’t!” It’s too easy to stay on the couch and flip the channels, looking for one of any number of sports events being broadcast on a Sunday.

Another example would be that of eating out. In the US, restaurants seem to have solely one focus, that of making money. In Italy restaurants certainly want to make money, but not at the expense of ruining the “Experience’ for the patron. I can count on one hand how many times I have had a bill brought to me in Italy before I have asked for it. In Italy its really simple, when you are ready to leave, you get up and pay. You are at the restaurant to enjoy time with your friends. Because most homes are too small to accommodate you having another family over for dinner, the restaurant serves as the location for “uninterrupted” time with your friends. What some “outsiders” may perceive as a lack of service is really “Privacy”!

The objective of restaurants in the US is to turn as many tables as possible. In Italy, its “Abnormal” to have anything less than a two and a half hour dinner and many last longer. Many tables host only one set of patrons each night. This of course leads to significant quality time among friends. I would estimate that an average dinner in Italy entails twice as much conversation time and an average lunch at least three times as much as it does in California.

This represents such a substantial difference for someone like me, who is notorious for eating at my desk and having quick lunches.

In the end, it just seems that so many people in the US, don’t have the time for these long engagements with friends because our society doesn’t call for it. Little time is left for anything else when your focus is consuming as much as you can.

Anna and I thought that we would introduce you to some of the people who we have been spending our time with of late. We hope that it results in an enjoyable read!