Our Last Day...Saying Goodbye

The sun began to rise on and peaked its way through the curtains in our bedroom. It was 5:15 and I had been up for about fifteen minutes, thinking about the big decisions in front of us. My stomach was less distended this morning, the pain was slightly less severe, I had slept through the night without discomfort. Surely the pasta from yesterday afternoon had been digested. I decided to take a shower…

When I was done, I looked out at the beautiful morning view into the Italian countryside. The light was perfect and soft, birds were singing and racing past our bedroom window, I was happy to be at the castle again. This is our happy place. It has always felt like home to us.

I thought about my conversation last night with Mark Tyron. We discussed my health issue and my desires to stay in Italy for the duration. I just couldn’t see myself not saying goodbye to everyone and the city that we are still in love with. He had reminded me the night before that saying goodbye the way that I wanted to (Long lunches and dinner, plenty of glasses of wine and lots of laughs) might be a difficult thing if my mind were constantly fixated on the prospects having a complete blockage.

As I stared outside, the tears began to roll down my cheeks. “This is my last morning at the castle”, I thought. “Today we should go home”.

Over the past year, I have grown to appreciate so many things about living in Italy. This blog has covered them in great detail. On this fateful morning, I realized how much I loved America. The order and efficiency of life was something that I had a new appreciation for. America is home, not because I was born there or that I own a house there, but because it’s where my family and friends are. It was time to go home.

When I told Anna that I didn’t want to take the train to Amalfi, she was shocked. She wanted to sit down and talk about it. Upon explaining to her my reasons, she completely agreed. Italy was not where I wanted my family to be if I were to have surgery.

The next two hours were consumed with us frantically trying to change our airline reservations and cancelling the rest of our planned vacation in Amalfi. The people at Delta were so on top of it (Another reminder of the efficiencies of home) and we were able to make the change with only a small penalty. The only problem was that we were flying out that night at 6:50 and hadn’t even begun packing the house. We had so much to do and with so little time.

When we were done with the computers Trey logged on to his e-mail and sent the following to all of his friends in 24 point font “Huge Change of Plans, I’m coming home tomorrow!!!!!!” I was happy for the kids. All of their friends in Florence had either gone on vacation for the summer or had moved to another city after school let out. They had been such troopers during those early months when things were tough on them. It was time for them to enjoy their summer now too.

As we began packing in the sweltering heat of a Florence afternoon our thoughts quickly shifted to carving out time for the important goodbyes. I called Simone and Paolo and asked Giovanni to take us to the airport. Anna called Stella. We couldn’t possibly leave without saying goodbye to Alex and Antoinetta (His twin brother Davide and Helga were out of town so it would be impossible to say goodbye to them). One by one as we made the phone calls to our shocked friends, we heard the same thing “Che Cosa Successo”, what’s wrong? We did our best to explain the urgency and fear that we had about “Intestine Blocata” (Blocked intestines). They all completely understood our need to get home.

The first to arrive to say goodbye was Paolo. Having just finished his workout at the palestra, it was clear to me upon his arrival that our phone conversation had not been clearly understood by him. The look of surprise that crossed his face when he saw the luggage spread out and our apartment in disarray said it all.

The kids greeted him as they always do with big hugs. He clearly wanted to ask questions but really didn’t know where to begin as there is still a solid communication barrier between us. He just kept muttering “Che Picatta” what a shame, over and over. Then he turned his back and walked toward the terrace and started to cry. Seeing this wonderfully kind man who is as strong as an Ox break down, was more than we needed to allow our flood gates to open as well.

We hugged for a long time. He kissed the kids and Anna and then sat down to write us a final note. The contents of the note are personal and will be kept between us. It is one of the nicest heartfelt letters I have ever read. As I type this I’m unable to hold back the tears.

Simone was the next to arrive at around 2:00. He didn’t leave until we left for the airport at 5:00. He asked Trey to go downstairs with him and play catch with the tennis ball one final time and told Olivia one last time something that he has told her so many times before “Olivia you are so beautiful”. It was as if he was trying to hold on to every last moment before our time together would end.

Stella arrived at 3:00 with tears in her eyes. It was like being at a funeral, we were all so sad. She too stayed until we left, helping us as she always does with anything that we needed. Her eyes were constantly fixated on the kids, who she loves like a grandmother.

Alex and Antonietta stopped by for a short period, sensing the chaos of our crowded house. Alex and Davide are two of the most jovial people that I have ever met, constantly cracking jokes and making us laugh. Alex did a good job of keeping things light, but even the guy who jokes that he eats Nutella with “Trippa” (Cow stomach) for breakfast every morning, couldn’t hold the tears back from welling up in his eyes. Antonietta on the other hand was a waterfall. She’s one of the sweetest ladies I have ever met and her emotions were in control of her that afternoon.

When Giovanni arrived to pick us up, he bounced out of the van with upbeat enthusiasm in his step. “Don’t be down, it will be OK he said to me. It could have happened after you were here for only a few months. At least it was near the end.”

Giovanni and I have had many serious discussions together and if there is one thing that he battles with every day is his ability to stay positive. I’ve fed him a heavy diet of Tony Robbins and other positive motivators over the past year and the irony of him trying to pick me up in this time of sadness brought our friendship full circle.

“Your not going to make me sad today Tim. I’m not going to be down” he kept telling me.

As we loaded the car it was time to say goodbye to Simone and Stella, two people that we saw three to four times a week. The tears flowed even harder as we embraced in long hugs. “Ti Voglio bene” was whispered into each others ears. In Italy, you save the phrase “Ti Amo” (I love you) for only those that you are truly intimate with (Spouse and close family). When you want to say “I love you to a friend” its ti voglio bene, which means “I always want the best for you”. I will never forget the hug between Anna and Stella, the two embraced for a long time. They are good friends…

The drive to the airport was filled with text messages and phone calls to people who we had not had time to call earlier that day. Our emotions were drained.

Giovanni kept looking back at the kids. This was their last bus ride with him. “Olly, you’re my principessa and I’m your Big Fat Savage Potato right?” The kids laughed.

Upon arrival at the airport, something ironic happened. The skies opened up with a summer thunder storm like no other, dumping at least a couple of inches of rain in a half hour. What made this so ironic was that the day we arrived in Florence (August 8th of last year) we had to circle above the city for nearly a half hour due to the exact same occurrence. It was like the year had come full circle.

Givoanni had one last gift for the kids and he saved his greatest for last. The past nine months have seen him take the kids to and from school most every day (Simone brought them home on Monday and Friday). He clearly had a fondness for the kids, treating them to gelato after school on several occasions and baking them cakes and pastries often times for their after school snack. This final gift was truly special as he had two customized polo shirts made for both of them, with customized silkscreen logos (The logos are of personal things between him and the kids that you will have to ask them about). The kids wear their two shirts more than any other that they own. In fact they didn’t take them off for four days after we got home to California!

As we walked to the radar machines, Giovanni put his arm around me and said “You know how you are always thanking me for taking care of your kids?”
“Yeah”, I replied.

“You know how I always tell you to stop thanking me?”

“Yeah”

“Well the reason that I don’t want you to thank me is because “I” should be thanking them. They changed my life. When I started driving them, I was in a bad place in my life. I was depressed and always down. I didn’t know how to get out of the hole I was in. They saved me. Your two wonderful children were the highlight of my life. Every day they picked me up and made me smile. I will miss them, but they saved my life! This is why I don’t want you to thank me.”

We hugged for a long time. “Ti voglio bene amico mio, ti voglio bene”.

As we walked through the radar screens the tears were pouring down mine and Anna’s cheeks. I was delayed by one of the airport security workers who wanted to check the contents of my bag. While I was waiting, I looked back beyond the ropes of the mettle detector and saw Giovanni and his wonderful girlfriend Sonya with their arms around each other. He was crying. All day he managed to be strong for me, but his strength succumbed to his own emotions.

I waved one final time goodbye.

As we sat on the runway, I looked out across the grass field that runs adjacent. “This is it, its over” I thought. It ended so fast. There was no final dinner at La Vecchia Bettola, where we always felt like we were family. I never got to have one final ride through the city with Anna and the kids on the motorino. There was no final workout and round of goodbyes at the palestra. No final walk as a family over the arno, like I had played out in my mind…

No, because this is life and the beauty of life is that you never know what’s really going to happen or what plans will be fulfilled. All you can ever really count on is “right now”.

There were many times over the past month where I subconsciously started to “Detach” from my life in Italy. My subconscious mind was trying to protect me from the pain of having to say goodbye. Each time as I started to detach and distance myself from my friends and the city that we love, I couldn’t. I realized that I needed to enjoy the time that I have with them even though it was coming to an end soon. I these people as my friends for the rest of my life. They are what made Italy a special place for us in so many ways.


The life that we lived over these past 11 months is filled with memories that we will never forget. Please don’t think for a second that we take for granted how blessed we are to have experienced the gift of this past year. I’ve lost count of how many times Anna and I looked at each other with a smile and said “Don’t pinch me, I don’t want to wake up!”

The time to wake up finally had arrived….the slumber had been glorious.