Notes from the Cheap Seats

Where There is smoke there is fire – I would be most interested in finding out the lung cancer rate in Croatia as they smoke like virtually no society I have ever seen (Maybe a dead heat with the Arabs who never hesitate to light up). What these people do when they come to America is beyond me, much less the 12 hour flight without being able to inhale. Every restaurant has an ashtray at every table and people literally are taking drags of their “Cigs” in between bites. Hell, I have seen people chewing and taking a drag at the same time! When I first arrived on this recent visit, my folks and I stopped by the house of a distant relative named Niksha. In the span of three hours at this home he took down no less than 15 cigarettes! Combine this with his daughter en-law who smoked at least 10 in the same span and you have the formula for a second hand smoke seizure! I had to take a 30 minute walk in the cold air about half way through to cleanse my lungs. When we left, I told my mom and dad, “I lost about 12 months of my life in that house today”.

Croatia and its food – I’m one half Croatian and a quarter Italian and Syrian and all I can say is thank GOD that I got my palate from the Italian and Syrian side! How a country like Croatia can be so geographically close to Italy and have gotten food SO WRONG is beyond my comprehension! Fish and Lamb are two of the main staples of Croatian cuisine and they manage to make both in an eatable way (They also make damn good bread), but it seems that the rule of thumb is “Make it With Sugar!” There is an unwavering commitment to sweeten everything (Even some of the strangest items). Case in point was when my family and I went out for pizza one night. We were a party of nine and ordered eight pizzas (I could not bring myself to ordering pizza in Croatia with the stuff I get at home!) Much to my shock, when the pizzas were brought to the table, the waiter also brought two bottles of ketchup! “Now, what might that be for?” I asked. My family proceeded to apply large quantities of Heinz to their pizza! Sorry but that’s freaking gross! No wonder so many Croatians have rotting teeth :>)